Is forgiving another person’s offense towards us a one-time event or an ongoing process?

A quick answer to this question is it depends.

If God is the one doing the forgiveness of our sins, then it is a one-time event. In Jeremiah 31:34, the Lord declares regarding the sins of the people of Israel, “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” This promise is reiterated and applied to us people of the new covenant in Hebrews 8:12 and 10:17. God’s forgiveness of our sins in Christ is once and for all, full and final.

However, if it is we human beings who are doing the forgiving of others, then it is not as straightforward.

I grew up nursing a strong resentment against my father. When the Lord convicted me of my need to forgive him, I found that I could not do it. I had to ask the Lord for help at every instance of remembrance of him and even then, I could only muster up enough strength to choose to forgive him. However, when the hurtful memories returned, I felt myself fall back to square one in struggling to forgive.

Were then my attempts to obey the Lord to forgive in vain? Not at all. I discovered that each time I chose to obey the Lord’s command to forgive, he was healing my heart step by step. The hurt in me gradually subsided and I could view my father with eyes of love. Our relationship was gradually and eventually restored when my forgiveness was fully extended to him. (Of course, I had to repent of my sins of self-centredness as well in this.)

In other words, forgiveness for us is often an ongoing process. Sometimes, the hurt can be so deep that it is not easily resolved in an instant. It requires the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives to heal us and gently and gradually lead us towards full forgiveness of others.

It is no wonder that the Apostle Paul writes to the Ephesian church, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph 4:32). The word “forgiving” in Greek is written in the present continuous tense. Paul is emphasising that forgiveness of another is often an ongoing process until it is complete, just as God’s forgiveness of us is.

Are you willing to forgive that someone who has hurt you whom the Lord has placed in your heart to forgive? Remember our Lord’s word to us that God will only forgive our sins if we forgive the sins of others (Matt 6:14-15). He will give you the strength to do so and every step of your journey in forgiveness is never in vain.

Blessings,
Revd Ian