Dear COA Family,
Just this week, I met up with a hawker stall holder whom I had not met
for more than a decade. The reason for not meeting her was due primarily
to feelings of guilt.
You see, the stall owner and her husband operated a fruit juice stall before
the husband became seriously ill with cancer. I offered to meet up with him
to pray for him during the Chinese New Year holidays when the stall was
closed for business. The meet-up was supposed to be on the third day of
the celebrations.
However, due to the busyness of the Chinese New Year festivities, I decided
against going and planned to visit on another occasion. To my dismay,
when I met the stall holder after the holidays, I found out that her husband
had passed away on the fourth day. She was so bitter over his death that
she did not want to speak with me. She blamed me for not going to pray
for her husband. Filled with guilt, I have stopped visiting that hawker centre
since then.
Fast forward twelve years later, I found myself at that hawker centre again
with my wife. I decided to speak with the stall owner again as well. She
greeted me happily when she met me. She had not forgotten what had
happened a long time ago but she explained to me that she struggled
with anger and bitterness against God for six years after her husband’s
death before reaching a resolution of her feelings. In other words, she was
not so much angry with me as she was with God.
This caused me to reflect on the missed opportunities all those years of me
thinking that I was the one to blame. I had wrongly assumed responsibility
for something that ultimately was beyond my control. I had lived with an
assumed guilt that was not mine to bear.
Perhaps some of us may also be struggling with guilt at this time. It could
be due to something you have or have not done that has caused another
person to be upset with you. Perhaps that person may be angry not so
much with you but ultimately with God.
May I encourage you in this season of Christmas to seek the forgiveness
and release that come from the Lord alone. Let go of the regret and guilt
that you have been carrying for all of these years. Know that Jesus comes
as the Saviour of the world not only from our sins but from our guilt and
condemnation. Don’t continue to assume the guilt that only Jesus can bear.
Let us also in this season seek to be instruments of reconciliation with others
and for others. Take the first step to approach and repair a broken
relationship. Redeem the time and opportunities that have been lost with a
renewed step of faith. With God’s grace, that relationship can be restored
and you can fully experience God’s love.
God bless,
Revd Ian